What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day

I went shopping today. Just a few days before Mother’s Day, and the mall was packed … with moms. I went to the card store, and the Mother’s Day section was packed … with moms. I stopped at the food store and the aisles were packed … you get the idea.

If you are a mother, there’s a good chance you have a mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, godmother, godmothers to your children and random “you are just like a mom to me” women. Maybe you are hosting, maybe you are visiting, maybe you are just spending the day with your own kids, but in any of these scenarios, Mother’s Day is a lot of work for … yup, you guessed it, moms.

And, for what? It is a day which starts with you cleaning all your linens after a failed surprise breakfast in bed, and quickly moves on to you making ridiculous exclamations of awe at things like clay bedazzled blobs meant to be God-only-knows what. These will sadly sit on your kitchen table for months. Likely you will end up wearing a macaroni necklace and will be covered in glitter and glue from a not-yet-dry masterpiece.

Maybe your husband got you some last minute gifts, which he decides to wrap at the eleventh hour – all the while shouting for someone to bring him tape and paper. You’ll spend the next week trying to find time for returns, the return being time sensitive because he didn’t save the receipts.

While he is wrapping or helping the kids make last minute cards, you will be getting everything ready for whatever joys are in store for you. If you have older kids, much of the day will be spent sweating on athletic fields. If you’re lucky, at the end of the game, your child will bring you a wilted flower that the coach’s wife (me) picked up to try to make the kids, I mean the moms, feel special.

Then, it is off to lunch or dinner somewhere. Maybe you are with family. Maybe you are with your mother-in-law. You are probably with your kids. Even if the men actually do all the cooking – after the moms have done all the shopping and prep – it might not be the Mother’s Day of your dreams.

This got me thinking – what do moms really want? I know what I want, but I’m only one. I can’t speak for every mom. It turns out, however, I can speak for a lot of them. I asked a bunch of moms the simple question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” I got an early, wonderful Mother’s day gift. Not only did some of them have me laughing so hard my sides were splitting, I am so relieved it isn’t just me!

It is worth noting the moms I asked are some of the most wonderful and dedicated mothers I know. They are working moms and stay at home moms. They are boy moms and girl moms. They have both young and older children. They are kind and thoughtful people, intelligent women, and caring parents. They love their children passionately and unconditionally. They would walk through fire for them. And what they want most on Mother’s Day, is a f*%#ing break.

In no particular order, here is what mothers say they want for Mother’s Day.

1. I would like to not be called Mom for one day, or at the very least, I would not like to hear “MOM!!!!” or “MOhhhh-uhhhhhhhm.”

2. A hug, a kiss and an escape route.

3. I want someone to plan my kids’ summer camps and schedules, set it all up, and just tell me where they need to be. Oh, and then get them there.

4. I would like a Brinks armored car service to partner with Uber and drive my kids to their sports – safely and conveniently.

5. I would like to wake up to a cheerio/goldfish/fossilized ice cream free car with a full tank of gas.

6. I would like the mask Judy Jetson put on every morning so she didn’t look like crazy mom. Judy made mornings look so easy.

7. I would like just a few moments of peace and quiet.

8. I want a tech free day. No iPhones, no iPads, no iNothin’.

9. I want someone else to change diapers all day. I don’t want to lift a finger, unless it is the middle one.

10. I want to have not shopped for, prepared or cleaned up after any of the food that is consumed all day.

11. An IV drip of Chardonnay.

12. I want there to be no laundry.

13. I want a full day when I don’t have to once clean the kitchen.

14. I want to just finish a task I start without being interrupted to … wipe something, referee something, make something, watch something or fetch something.

15. I literally just walked in on the boys smelling each other’s asses. Can we add no butt-smelling to the list?

16. I want someone to bring me coffee in bed, and then LEAVE. Leave for an hour so I can watch the news in peace.

17. I want a day in my own house – alone.

18. I want to feel appreciated.

19. I want a raise, or at least a bonus.

20. I would like to not be called “squishy mom.”

21. A pitcher full of frozen margaritas.

22. I would like to go anywhere with my kids where I didn’t have to get them ready, pack the snacks or yell for them to get in the car.

23. I want to sleep in.

24. I want to sleep alone.

25. I want to have no plan at all, and I want everyone to be ok with that.

26. I want a thoughtful gift, like a dad would get on Father’s Day. I want an iPod with all my favorite artists preloaded. I want something which tells me my family knows I am more than a maid, a secretary and a chauffeur.

27. I want a day by myself, in my own (clean) home.

28. A couch, my favorite pizza, a glass of red, and Netflix–that I don’t have to share!

29. I want to not worry about anyone else’s mood all day.

30. I want a whole day when I never once say, “C’mon!! Hurry up. We’re gonna be late!”

31. I want someone to get the house and the kids ready for school the next day — homework done, bodies clean, teeth brushed and lunches packed.

32. I want a day when I don’t have to drive anyone anywhere.

33. I want my kids not to fight – at least within earshot.

34. I would like to celebrate how much fun I was before I was a mom … making my sacrifices that much greater because of the awesome me I left behind.

35. And the most important wish, the one that makes all of the others worth having is: AND, I DON’T WANT TO FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Every single day, we cheer for, care for, clean for, cook for, and even fight for our children. We console, discipline, worry, instruct and intervene. We hug and kiss them and tell them we love them. They hug and kiss us and tell us they love us. If the only thing different about Sunday is that we had to shop for, pay for and wrap a gift for our mother-in-law, why bother?

I Can’t Imagine Losing My Mom