These are a Few of My Favorite Things … a Rewrite.

Karen posted this a few years ago and when I saw it, I just had to repost. Love you, Karen!
(Originally posted April 10, 2013)

Maria had her favorite things as she distracted the bratty von Trapp kids
from their fear of the thunderstorm. Now that I’m 40, I have my own take…

These are a few of my favorite things about getting older.

Pee drops from laughing and whiskers on chins
Rip off copper age cream to smooth out the skin
Brown paper lunch bags left by the sink
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

Cream colored cellulite dimpling pale thighs
Not funny laugh lines and crow’s feet by eyes
Arm flab that hangs there as if it were wings
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

Long maxi dresses to hide my blue veins
Age spots that stay on my nose like a stain
Silver white pubes, from my head they do spring
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

When the back aches
When the brain fails
When everything sags
I simply remember my favorite things
Then I feel like an old bag.

Bunions from standing and hemorrhoids from sitting
Farty old one pieces ‘cuz bikinis ain’t fitting
Elephant skin belly from having the twins
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

Eyesight is shot and the hearing is going
I’m getting shorter but my ears keep on growing
Boobs look like something found on strange aliens
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

Young girls in short dresses keep rubbing it in
Every ad is about looking younger or thin
Thinking about getting a burka because they hide everything
These are a few of my favorite things (about getting older)

When the step slows
When the neck droops
When the butt hits the floor
I simply remember my favorite things
And I’m not sure I can take anymore.