Preventing Them From Moving

Here at Tips From Town, we organize our content around a weekly theme. This week is prevention, a no brainer for a doctor, right? The problem is I can’t choose. Do I tell you why you should have your child vaccinated? Should we discuss childhood obesity? How about drug use prevention in your adolescent? It is such a nice day, though. Let’s talk about something that really keeps me up at night.

Here are some ways, creative and otherwise, to prevent your kids from moving really far away.

– Buy a house next to an orphanage and hope they fall in love with an orphan.

– Buy them a house on your block.

– Get a beach house big enough for your children and their families.

– Get a ski house big enough for your children and their families.

– Don’t pay for out of state college tuition.

– Be really, really nice to your daughters-in-law. Take your sons-in-law side in any marital argument.

– Never criticize, always babysit and in general, smile and nod.

– If all that fails or just seems to damn hard, make proximity a requirement in your will … that’ll get ’em.

Here’s to hoping when they are old enough to leave, I still want them nearby! After living through the adolescent angst-filled years times 5, paying for 5 college tuitions and sitting through countless sporting events and recitals, retiring to Florida may look a whole lot better than going through it all again with grandchildren. It is exhausting the first time around.