One of My Worst Parenting Moments

I’ve forgotten to pack my kids a lunch. I’ve given them a “snack lunch” which basically means there is nothing in the house, so you’ll be getting a bag of mishmosh. I’ve really stretched the definition of lunch to include things like bread with butter and cold pizza. But, this is the first time I got this text:

From Shane (14 yo) at 11:30am on a random Tuesday.

I did appreciate him clarifying that it was “for lunch”, and I did think/hope for a hot minute it was one of these Athletic Brews my husband loves, but it was not. While I imagine a 4.4% ABV Pacifico would go great with an everything bagel with cream cheese, I probably shouldn’t have given my 8th graders freezing cold beers. Can you feel my panic in my overuse of punctuation?!!??!! Instead of beating myself up, I’m going to focus on the fact that I raised children who didn’t pop them open, as I may have done at that age. That’s how I cope. I find the silver lining and I laugh. Being a human mom is funny!

I share this with you for two reasons.

Have you ever taken an embarrassing fall and there was no one there to see it? At first you think, phew, but after a few minutes pass, you need someone to laugh with. Please laugh with (at) me. Any excuse to laugh is a good one, and we all need to take ourselves less seriously.
If we shared more of these real mistakes with each other and focused less on trying to appear as if we are parenting perfectly, we might all be a whole lot happier and more confident we are doing a decent job, despite all the missteps.

For more pro tips from a mom who is serving her children alcohol before noon, check out my Parenting Audible Originals. Take Back the House … Raising Happy Parents (2021) and Worry Less, Parent Better (2023). There you will find more reasons to laugh at me and some information to make this parenting journey more joyful.

Addendum: Someone just pointed out to me that in this blame and shame parenting culture, I should probably explain how it happened. I hate that they are right, but just so the authorities don’t haul me away — early in the morning, without glasses, Pacifico cans look a whole lot like lemon seltzers. PSA. You’ve been warned.

5 WAYS TO BE KINDER TO YOUR MEMORY