Don’t Be “That” Person at the Gym

I’m sure I haven’t seen everything but I have witnessed enough to be somewhat of an authority on how NOT to be “that” (annoying) person at the gym. I have worked as a trainer, and have been a client myself, at many types of gyms in Canada and the US. I have visited the cheap $10/month chains to the expensive boutique spa/gyms to good old, regulation-heavy country clubs. And one thing is certain, these annoying gym habits are universal. They span countries, ethnicities, education, age and socio-economic levels.

1. The Sweater. Listen, I get it, I am a proud sweater too. You can’t help it BUT you can clean up after yourself. Wipe off the equipment and the salt-water pools surrounding you when you’re done. No one will fault you for sweating, heck I would even applaud you for working so hard, but expect to be shunned by all if you leave any sweaty souvenirs behind.
2. The Phone Talker/Texter. Nobody cares about your relationship troubles or how cute your little Bobby was pooping in the potty for the first time or your last weekend’s escapades. Do everyone a favor and save the socializing for later or just meet that person for coffee – you’re not really working out anyway. This also applies to the nonstop texters with the maddening whistle, bell, siren or latest Justin Bieber ringtone going off every 20 seconds.
3. The Reader. This is more annoying to a personal trainer than the regular gym client only because I KNOW you can’t be working very hard if you’re able to read that romance novel while clinging desperately to the treadmill, bike or elliptical. While I commend you for being active, take it to the next level and use your very limited, yet very specific gym time to work. And please don’t even go there with the “I go to the gym every day and I’m not seeing any changes”. On another level the Reader is annoying to those clients who have to wait for your 30 minutes of reading time to be over to get on that cardio equipment.
4. The Toxic Gas Cloud. Be honest – you know who you are. Maybe you’re afraid you get too ripe smelling when working hard. You THINK that dousing your entire being in perfume/cologne will prevent this odorous predicament OR you view your gym as a daytime disco with the sole purpose of Not getting fit but getting… (Well you know where that’s headed). Either way – it’s too much and the rest of us are gasping, not from doing sprints, but for dear life –frantically trying to suck in some fresh oxygen.
5. The Grim Reeker.  On a similar note, this person just thinks their body odor is so sublime they never wash their gym clothes -EVER or themselves for that matter. Along with this is the chain smoker panting on the treadmill beside you. Tic Tacs don’t cut it when the smell permeates from your hair, clothes and pores.
6. The Narcissist. Mirror hogs, preeners and primpers this is all about your excessive self-love. I’m all for positive affirmations but if you’re going to sit on that piece of equipment making pouty lips or study the different ways your veins roll and bulge every time you move then please go home – and try working on those calf muscles some time.
7. The Sound Engineer. Singing, sighing (especially in yoga), grunting, throwing dumbbells, and bars down, slamming weight stacks or any other attempts to obnoxiously draw attention to yourself. Tone it down.
8. The Hoarder. Do you really need to have 3 different sets of weights, the BOSU, several medicine balls and a plethora of resistance bands plus a bench, ALL at the same time? This is not your personal gym – you need to share. And let people work in their sets and reps between yours, don’t just hang out on the equipment during your rest breaks.
9. The Alpha Male. I understand that finding a mate is hard wired in our DNA and that males instinctually attempt this mating courtship by trying to demonstrate how fast/strong/powerful they are – guys –this is for you – it almost always results in an EPIC FAIL (or a hernia), allowing the scrawny guy in the corner to become alpha male. So word to the wise – don’t bother.

10. The Impersonator. Don’t think you can act like Jillian Michaels in the Biggest   Loser, yelling at and “coaching” your buddy just because you brought your Men’s Health or Self magazine with you to the gym or you stayed up late the night before watching Insanity infomercials.

11. The Exhibitionist. Wear appropriate clothing – PLEASE, for the love of God. NObody wants to see that much of you and in those positions. For some reason certain people feel that it’s perfectly acceptable to wear clothing two sizes too small to the gym. Perhaps you think less clothing is more comfy but it’s that much more uncomfortable for the rest of us. Cover yourselves guys and gals. Use discretion. This also applies to locker room etiquette. I’m pretty sure no one wants to see your business, particularly when you’re striking up a conversation with someone.