Babies and Your Boobs — What the hell happened?

I know anything worth doing in life takes sacrifice. My kids were definitely worth doing, but did I really have to sacrifice my body this drastically?!? I was never anything close to a swimsuit model, but at least everything was where it belonged. B.C. (before children), I was a content and ample 34B. Bras just started getting good about the time I got out of college. All of a sudden, I could take those B cups to at least a small C with a little help from Victoria and her wonderful Secrets.

Then came four pregnancies, five kids and about 36 months of breast feeding. Goodbye boobs. It was nice knowing you. My bras haven’t fit well in years, but I was not going to get measured and be told I was down to an “A”. I just couldn’t face it. Though deep down, I guessed the truth, I just kept buying 34B. The other day, after much deliberation, I bit the bullet and asked to be measured. Dawn, the “breast specialist”  (in my world someone with this title wears a white coat and carries a scalpel) asked me to raise my arms. I suppressed a giggle, did as I was told and, while embarrassedly rambling on about kids and breast feeding damage and Lord only knows what else, she interrupted, “You’re a 32B.” I am pretty sure I kissed her on the mouth. Now, is not the time to explore my psyche and why this matters to me at all, but suffice it to say, I am a girl, I just turned 40 and I need all the help I can get. My new bra fit like a glove, I danced all night and never pulled at it once. It is the little things that make me happy.

Here’s the point. Your body changes — after pregnancies, after weight gain, weight loss and simply, after time. If you aren’t completely happy with how your bras are fitting, go get measured by a breast specialist. It just might make your day … and if it doesn’t, remember, we don’t wear the size on the outside, and nothing can ruin a great outfit like the need for constant wardrobe adjustments.

Why do the changes happen? During pregnancy and breast feeding, breasts go through a lot of changes. They become fuller during pregnancy, then if you breast feed, they are fuller, then flatter, fuller, then flatter, etc. Think of your skin as a stretchable rubber band. Keep pulling at it and eventually, it will lose some of its tension. The changes the breast tissue undergoes also contributes to some of the loss of fullness. There are sources which will tell you breasts don’t change. They must be written by men or women with no children. Here are some tips for preventing sagging — too late for me.

I don’t like to criticize the Big Guy, but I do believe he got this one wrong. If a man’s penis shrank and deflated each time he conceived a child, overpopulation would not be an issue. Then again, extinction would be a real possibility.