Sibling Relationships, the Good, the Bad and the (Not So) Ugly

Sibling relationships are one of the major stresses in children’s little worlds. That being said, what can a parent do to improve these relationships while still allowing the all-important learning curve of socialization to occur? According to an article on WebMD, fighting amongst brothers and sisters is common and well, inevitable. Living with others (and sometimes in close proximity) can be stressful even if you CHOOSE that person, but sibs don’t get to choose one another. Add in the factors of immature and underdeveloped social skills, unique personalities and parental contributions and how can you not expect things to combust once in awhile? Some of the major contributors to sibling rivalry are vying for parental attention, keeping tabs on fair treatment and equality, sharing territory and/or property, and as already mentioned, unique personalities.

Sibling rivalry can also be a good thing, even if it brings you as a parent to the brink of insanity at times. What better way for children to learn to deal with other people and personalities in a safe and comfortable environment?! As long as your kids are not physically harming each other (or your home), allow them to work it out on their own and don’t be tempted to jump in and mediate. These are great teaching moments (as long as you the parent can remain calm enough to manage it well).

Some tips for handling these blowups:
1. Teach your kids about negotiating and compromise and don’t forget to practice what you preach as well.
2. Keep house rules equal for all but teach that other things (like buying clothes or equipment) is not always equal (like the real world).
3. Try to schedule special one on one time with each child but don’t play favorites.
4. Provide opportunities for your children to have privacy, space and ownership over their own possessions.
5. Finally, hold regular discussions to keep communication open and employ open forums especially for problem solving.