Just What I Needed to Hear Today

My sister sent me something today I’d love to share with everyone. She shared it with me, because after listening to my Audible Original Take Back the House, she thought it would resonate with me. She was right. It definitely echoes my intended message, but it also struck a timely chord with me personally.

My son, Charlie, got into some trouble at an after school activity yesterday. When he was younger, he sometimes had a difficult time controlling his emotion, running hot when he was embarrassed or frustrated. He’s been great in recent years, but apparently this struggle reared its ugly head on the wiffle ball field — very serious stuff, of course, so easy to understand why he would fly off the handle. (Insert eye-roll emoji.) When the boys came home, they had to get ready for a baseball game, something Charlie absolutely loves. They don’t always have enough boys to field the team, but once we confirmed there were nine attending, including his twin brother, we told Charlie he was staying home. He had already cried genuine tears, apologized and showed some real remorse, so I was on the fence about piling on more consequences. We hadn’t yelled, we had asked some questions and listened to his answers. I am really trying to follow my own advice, especially when I’m triggered, and this was triggering for me. Here I have a new piece about parenting with more joy and raising kind, respectful kids, and I got an earful about my kid’s behavior. Kind of embarrassing, right? Of course it was, but I swear I never claim to be a perfect parent or that I have perfect kids.

Charlie said, “I feel so bad you are disappointed in me. I really wish you were just mad.” To which I responded, “I’m not disappointed in you, but I’m sure you can understand why I would be disappointed you reacted that way, and I think you should sit this one out.” It was all the harder because Larry is a coach, and Madelyn and I had said we were going, so we all walked out leaving Charlie in his baseball uniform, silently sobbing at the kitchen counter. Sometimes, parenting really stinks.

He recovered. He completely understood why we didn’t let him play and was appropriately sorry for the way he behaved, but I woke up still feeling kind of bad. This article is just what I needed to read to alleviate any guilt from inflicting a “punishment” possibly worse than the crime. I hope it helps us all feel better about staying true to our convictions and listening to our gut, which is in part, exactly what I hope my listeners get from the Audible. I swear it isn’t only about baseball, despite the way it starts.