How To Handle Your Drama Queen
Remember the friend who tearfully pulled you into the bathroom in a crisis at every party? I think I might be raising her, and the thought keeps me up at night. For the most part, she is a good kid, but then, without warning, the curtain goes up and I’ve got an Oscar worthy performance with which to contend. I usually start out calm and understanding, but end up giving Mommy Dearest a run for her money. “No more wire hangers!!” I know, 9 times out of 10, I am mishandling her outbursts. What to do? This isn’t college. I can’t simply walk out of the bathroom and do a keg stand.
What Can You Do to Control the Drama?
– Above all else, stay calm and keep perspective. Someday, she’ll be someone else’s problem.
– Do not sink to her level. For instance, do not say, “I know you are, but what am I?”
– Deal with it later if need be. If things are out of control, do your best to diffuse the situation until you can handle it peacefully and rationally.
– Do not take it personally. Kids will always take things out on the ones who will still love them in the morning. For that matter, so will adults.
– Do not scream random threats. You both know she won’t be locked in her room until she gets married. Saying so, undermines your authority.
– In a calmer moment, give her a clear, reasonable punishment that fits the actual crime. e.g. no time spent with friends for a week, no phone privileges, etc.
– Do not wait until the stuff hits the fan. Take some time to have a one on one talk about her behavior, how it makes you feel, and how you plan to address it in the future. Provide her with some life skills to control her temper and provide examples of things actually worth getting so riled up over, e.g. world hunger, and things not worth getting excited about, e.g. misplaced shoes.
– Don’t try to be her friend. She has enough friends. They are probably all comforting her in the bathroom. Be her mother. She only has one of those.
– When all else fails, take care of you. Breathe and pour yourself a glass of wine … not as immediately effective as a keg stand, but it will do the trick. (I added that last part myself.)
