Halloween on Performance Enhancing Drugs

Is it my imagination or is Halloween on steroids?

My mom used to have these cardboard cutouts of cute Halloween characters, and she would hang them in the bay window facing the street. Every year, one or two would be ripped, and I would love to go to the card store and pick out replacements. I always thought my mom was so cool, because we were the only ones on the street who decorated for the minor holidays. On about October 25th, I would walk home from school and get jittery with excitement when I saw the window had been decorated. It meant Halloween was coming. Now, we start getting into the Halloween mode before school starts … we should be scared of ourselves.

The following are pictures of the Halloween stuff sold within a one mile radius of my house.

Remember when the best costumes were the homemade ones and the others were all a plastic mask and a garbage bag?

These are cute, but kind of weird, right?

Aren’t we supposed to be keeping them safe and sound? These are really scary.

The Halloween world is your oyster at any random drug store.

Halloween Socks!! What the …

The shirt’s kind of cute, but underwear?! We are really taking this to a whole new level!

I bought two of these at Home Goods, because if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

O.K. I couldn’t help myself. I bought books for all my nieces and nephews.

I am absolutely drawing the line on greeting cards. Hallmark juiced up February 14th, they can’t have October 31st too! Maybe just a couple for my godchildren, and that’s it!!

Sorry, gotta run. I have some overpriced pumpkins to carve.